Love Yourself

We see the beauty in things around us but we often forget to look in the mirror and see the beauty in the image in front us. We often concentrate on the negative aspects of our lives and forget to take pride in the mistakes that have led us to learn more about ourselves. We can be our worst enemies, stressing over the elements of what makes life worthwhile; work, relationships and the fact that we are all different.

"Work" now that's a word that the majority of us do not like to hear but it's a necessary evil, so why do we stress over it. If we have a job we complain about our coworkers, boss or the size of our office, if we do not have a job the problem becomes greater. Over the years I have learned that patience and perseverance are keys in being content at your position. Patience for those that we work with or for and the perseverance to want to be the greatest at what we do no matter how "small" we think the position is. I have friends that have taken pay cuts and accepted entry level positions due to the bad economy. The ones that are miserable live on the mentality that they deserve better and the ones that are happy see their current job as a stepping stone that will take them to where they have dreamed.

"Relationships" either we love our relationships; hate them or we think it's never going to happen. My husband and I dated for eighteen years, lived together for two and have been married for almost two years. To say we have a history together is an understatement; we share a beautiful love story full of laughter, support, misunderstandings and lots of love. I remember my first marriage and family course in college, the Professor told the girls to watch how their boyfriends treated their mothers if they treated them well, then they were keepers vice versa for the guys. If the man in your life treats his mom with respect and love than you are most likely to be treated in the same manner. My mom always told me there is no such thing as a perfect relationship but you can definitely get close to it with love, respect, communication and trust. If any of these are missing it's going to be a bumpy ride. For those that are in relationships that do not make them happy, life is just too short to be wasting your time, move on, it's that simple. I have many friends my age that are single and as they put it "they do not want to settle" or "they are looking for Mr. Right." Over the years my girlfriends have added more to their list of deal breakers, "he can't have children, he can't be short," and the list goes on with a bunch of nonsense. Dating is like a game of chess, you keep the options open to get to the king. You are never going to find Mr. Right if you do not open up your mind and heart to let him in. There is the saying "We hate most in others what we dislike about ourselves", being single is the best time to learn about ourselves, to modify what we feel is keeping us from being happy, no matter how great he/she is, if you were not happy before they entered your life you are not going to be happy once they are a part of it.

Years ago I was an assistant manager at an upscale lingerie and RTW boutique. Celebrities and Models would come in; as I placed garments in their fitting rooms they would complain as they stared at their flawless faces and bodies. They were focused on the things that they did not like about their bodies rather than on the things that set them apart from other women. We are all different and that is what makes us beautiful. We need to stop being so harsh on ourselves and love ourselves. We do not gain anything by comparing ourselves to others, we accomplish more by loving every curve in our bodies and realizing we are not perfect and in essence that is the beauty of life, imperfection.

"I don't like to diet. I like to eat right"

How many times in our lives, have we used the word DIET? "My jeans don't fit I need to get on a diet" or "Tomorrow I am getting on a diet." As a wedding and event planner I have heard my clients during lunch meetings assure me that by their wedding, birthday or charity event they will lose weight because they are going on a diet while taking a bite of their  unhealthy meal. I once used the word diet as a temporary solution, to fit in my little black dress or to make a grand appearance at a school reunion. My problem with the word diet is how we use it and how it can make us and those around us feel in particular our children. In a society where the cover of fashion magazines are covered with skinny models and school lunch is anything but healthy its difficult not to have a problem with our self image. We are our children's role models, they look up to us and listen to everything we say, they learn everything from us and that includes the way we feel about ourselves and how we eat. Diets come with restrictions, eating right comes with mindful choices.

Once you experience the great benefits of living a healthy lifestyle, you realize the journey was not about becoming skinny it was about living longer. There is a wonderful quote by Dr. Norman Walker in his book Become younger "A close mind...a mind which has made it a practice to frown on a radical change in thought, habits and actions, is the greatest stumbling block towards any process on the road to become younger." It is important to learn the health benefits and the effects of what we eat only then are we able to make wise choices for us and our family.

The Power within You

Changing your lifestyle is not as difficult as you may think. This quote by George Sheehan inspires me everyday "It's very hard in the beginning to understand that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners. Eventually you learn the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit." This quote is not just about running, but about life. It is all up to us, we get as far as we allow ourselves, we all have the ability to make it to the top it is only a matter of how bad we want it and how much we value ourselves.

We are all afraid of a change that is why many of us stick to our daily routines, although it might make us miserable. When I first ran my Five mile race, two years ago I was scared, the thought of not being able to finish terrified me but when I finished I knew that day I could do whatever I set my mind to do. I started to make small changes in my life that made a huge difference in the way I felt throughout my days.

I start my mornings mediating followed by a four to five mile run. There is nothing like waking up and thanking the one above for another day. For me it is important to stay connected with my faith, it helps tremendously to finish my runs and gives me the patience to deal with the stresses of the day.

I walk everywhere I am able to, if I have a doctor's appointment that is three miles away from my house, I give myself extra time to get there. It is a goal that I have set for myself and when I arrive on time, I am the happiest patient in the office. I know many of you will probably think, "I don't have the time" you don't have to start by doing three mile walks start at a mile it's only twenty blocks, believe me you are going to feel great.

I no longer drink my calories with my meals, I only have water. If you love the fizz I recommend sparkling water with a lemon wedge, I also came across these great options fruit soda and my favorite Cherry Chia Kombucha. Throughout the day if I want some flavor I have unsweetened teas like green or hibiscus.

Start your meals with a salad you will be surprised how satisfied you will be. I add sprouts to my salads such as Azuki, Alfalfa, Garbanzo and lentils; these will transform your salad into a nutritional powerhouse.

I do not eat out; I love to cook for my husband and myself. I also like to have control of what is being put into our food. I take no longer than one hour in preparing and cooking our dinner. If I know I have a busy day I prepare the food the night before. Not eating out is not only healthy; it also saves you a lot of money.

My husband and I love sweets. I no longer purchase packaged or bakery goods. If I have a craving for a cookie, I bake it. Again, when I make it myself I have control of how much sugar I am adding and I only use high quality ingredients.

After dinner my husband and I unwind with a walk or a run. This is our evening quality time, we talk about our days and we enjoy it. Yes, we all come home tired from work but when you come back from walking or running you feel like the wind has literally taken your stress away.

The difference between dieting and changing your lifestyle.

There are many reasons people start to change their eating habits. I will tell you why I began to make a lifestyle change at the age of thirty. Like most twenty year olds I partied hard, drinking, smoking, eating out and having my energy drinks when I had midterms. My only physical activity was walking, I never ran in my life.
At the age of thirty I began planning my wedding and like the majority of brides I began to diet. I did not see it as a lifestyle change, I simply saw it as a fast way to shed the pounds for my big day. It was not until I got married and began thinking of having a family that I wanted to change my lifestyle. I wanted to incooperate healthy food and exercise into my life, not for me but for the future of my children. I thought to myself if I am going to get pregnant, my babies first home has to be clean. I had been running but I had not pushed myself, I had been eating healthy but I had not been enjoying it that's the difference between dieting and changing your lifestyle.
I not only want to be a healthy future pregnant woman, I also want to be a healthy future mom.

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